André Donker (he/him)
‘TOGETHER WE ARE ONE FAMILY’
Text: Paul Hofman
Picture: Leon Hendrickx
Video: Paradox Productions
Ambassador André Donker: ‘Together we are one family’
To his surprise, early this year he was asked to become one of the six figureheads of Pride Amsterdam. André (59) did not have to think for a moment and immediately said yes. He is a striking man who is proud of ‘his’ community. Also a man with a mission who in his role as ambassador of Pride Amsterdam wants to break the taboo around fetish. ‘Fetish is so much more.’
FASCINATION
A stone’s throw away from the West Tower is the business where he has managed for seven years.
When I enter at the end of the morning, he is busy with a customer.’His’ store is one of the largest fetish businesses in our country.Customers from all over the world know how to find the shop.The store has three floors where he proudly shows me the many leather and fetish products.
How his fascination with leather came about?
‘My fascination with leather was not at all unexpected. My parents had a leather store in Gorinchem. They had an extensive assortment, not only did they sell bags and belts but also cool leather jackets. As a child I stuck my nose among the leather clothing at an early age. It smelled wonderful.
TOUGH, EXCITING AND SEXY
At 16, he went to high school in his father’s leather jacket. ‘Tough and exciting I considered it. And sexy, too. At 20, he bought his first pair of leather pants. His passion for this material will always remain. ‘Leather is a beautiful and natural material. The longer you wear it the more it comes to life. The older the more beautiful. When I wear it it gives me a kind of power. It gives me a kind of powerful act. By the way, that can also be something like with my cowboy boots. Your attitude just becomes different, sexier.’
LEATHER IS MORE
He was 20 when his best friend took him to a leather party in Amsterdam, he says. Then he was hooked by the leather scene. At first it was still uncomfortable for him but many years later the fetish community holds no secrets for him. ‘It was a revelation for me. A fascinating world. It doesn’t matter who or what you are. The scene radiates great warmth. Everyone belongs. There is total openness.’ He emphasizes that the leather fetish is an important part of his life. ‘Leather is so much more.’ He says the image the outside world has of the fetish scene is absolutely wrong. ‘It shouldn’t evoke fear. On the contrary, it is a community with many groups as lovers of lacquer, leather, rubber, latex, neoprene (synthetic rubber, PH), sportswear and puppies with a lot of respect for each other and a close-knit atmosphere.’
EXAMPLES
As a Pride ambassador, he wants to break down that very prejudice and show that the fetish is cool, exciting, sexy and inclusive for everyone. In the 1980s when André was growing up, the leather scene was highly visible. Men and also women walked through the city in leather, the tough men stood in large numbers outside in front of the bars in the Warmoesstraat It was the time when you could be seen on the street in your leather outfit, your fetish could be seen, people were proud of it. It gave a sense of freedom/victory.
OPENNESS
Those years are now well behind us, he stresses. ‘The world has changed, it has become a lot more conservative. ‘Fetish parties nowadays still take place too often behind closed doors. People only dare to change clothes at the party.’ He thinks that’s a shame. He himself goes to work dressed in leather. ‘I am the way I am. I am very open in my preferences. Of course I sometimes get looks, but it doesn’t bother me. I don’t care.’ Leather is his second skin, he explains. Leather is just a natural and exciting material. “Because of social media, there is more and more of an overlap.
CONNECTING
Connecting people becomes his message as an ambassador. “We form one family with the different letters LHBTIQA+, don’t we?” Visibility and connectedness are the common threads for him. ‘Showing that we are there and building bridges between the different groups in our community.’ That several major fashion designers are incorporating leather and fetish into their collections he applauds. ‘That’s such an important development.’ Leather should be salonable.’ Continues:’ I will talk to people, explain how the fetish world works.’ Unknown makes unloved is another saying that holds true here. For André, leather forms a second skin. ‘By the way: the leather fetish is more than just sex, it’s just a lifestyle.’
During Pride, he will be seen a lot at various gatherings. In between, he and his husband Ronald and four co-organizers are still organizing the seventh edition of Pride at the Beach in Zandvoort. Not only for the fetish scene but for the entire lhbtiq+ community, he is a fighter pur sang. ‘You always have to do it together, meet together, work together, party together and above all be curious about each other. He can’t wait to step into his role as ambassador. And the TOGETHER theme runs deep in his fiber.
Pride ambassador since 2024