Text: Paul Hofman
Photo: Leon Hendrickx
Video: Paradox Productions
Ambassador André Donker: ‘Together we are one family’
To to his surprise, he was asked earlier this year to become one of Pride Amsterdam’s six figureheads. André (59) didn’t hesitate for a moment and immediately said yes. He is a distinctive man who is proud of ‘his’ community. He’s also a man on a mission who, as an ambassador of Pride Amsterdam, wants to break the taboo around fetish. ‘Fetish is so much more.’
Fascination
Just a stone’s throw from the Westertoren is the shop where he has been at the helm for seven years. When I arrive at the end of the morning he is busy with a customer. ‘His’ shop is one of the largest fetish stores in our country. Customers from around the world find their way here. The shop spans three floors where he proudly shows me the many leather and fetish products. How did his fascination for leather begin?
‘My fascination with leather came totally naturally. My parents ran a leather speciality store in Gorinchem. They had an extensive range — not only did they sell bags and belts, they also sold rugged leather jackets. As a child I would bury my nose in the leather early on. It smelled wonderful.’
Rugged, exciting and sexy
At sixteen he went to secondary school in his father’s leather jacket. ‘I thought it was rugged and exciting. And also sexy.’ At twenty he bought his first pair of leather trousers. His passion for this material will always remain. ‘Leather is a beautiful, natural material. The more you wear it, the more it comes alive. The older it gets, the better it looks. When I wear it I get a kind of power. It gives me a kind of powerful acte de présence. That can also be true of something like my cowboy boots. Your posture simply changes — sexier.’
Leather is more
He was twenty when his best friend took him to a leather party in Amsterdam, he says. That’s when he was captivated by the leather scene. At first it felt awkward, but many years later the fetish community holds no secrets for him. ‘It was a revelation for me. A fascinating world. It doesn’t matter who or what you are. The scene radiates great warmth. Everyone belongs. There is total openness.’ He emphasizes that leather fetish is an important part of his life. ‘Leather is so much more.’ The image the outside world has of the fetish scene, he says, is absolutely incorrect. ‘It shouldn’t provoke fear. It’s actually a community with many groups — fans of lacquer, leather, rubber, latex, neoprene (synthetic rubber, PH), sportswear and puppies — with a lot of mutual respect and a close atmosphere.’
Prejudices
As an ambassador of Pride he wants to remove those prejudices and show that fetish can be rugged, exciting, sexy and inclusive for everyone. In the 1980s, when André grew up, the leather scene was very visible. Men — and also women — walked through the city in leather; the tough guys often stood outside the bars on the Warmoesstraat. It was a time when you could be seen on the street in your leather outfit, your fetish could be visible, people were proud of it. It gave a feeling of freedom/victory.
Openness
Those years are now long behind us, he stresses. ‘The world has changed; it has become a lot more conservative. Fetish parties still too often take place behind closed doors. People only dare to change at the party.’ He finds that a pity. He himself goes to work dressed in leather. ‘I am who I am. I’m very open about my preference. Of course I sometimes get looks, but I don’t lose sleep over that. I don’t care.’ Leather is his second skin, he says. Leather is simply a natural and arousing material. ‘Through social media there is more and more overlap.’
Connectedness
Connecting people will be his message as ambassador. ‘With the different letters LHBTIQA+ aren’t we one family?’ Visibility and connectedness form the common thread for him. ‘Showing that we are here and building bridges between the different groups in our community.’ He welcomes the fact that several major fashion designers are incorporating leather and fetish into their collections. ‘That’s such an important development.’ Leather should be salonfähig. He continues: ‘I will talk to people, explain how the fetish world works.’ Familiarity breeds liking applies here too. For André, leather is a second skin. ‘By the way: leather fetish is more than just sex, it’s simply a lifestyle.’
During Pride you will see a lot of him at various events. In the meantime he and his husband Ronald, together with four co-organisers, are organising the seventh edition of Pride at the Beach in Zandvoort. Not only for the fetish scene but for the entire lhbtiq+ community he is a true fighter. ‘You always have to do it together — meet together, work, party and above all be curious about one another.’ He can’t wait to start his role as ambassador. And the theme TOGETHER is woven deep into his fibres.
Pride ambassador since 2024
