Interview: Paul Hofman
Besides being a journalist and writer, Pete Wu (34) is this year an ambassador for Pride Amsterdam. He was surprised to be one of the six appointed. He is looking forward to it. Who is this man who recently published an autobiographical book about what it’s like to grow up as a Chinese Dutch gay man between two worlds? His mother calls him a “banana” — yellow on the outside and white on the inside. He has no problem with that term; he embraces it as a badge of honour. On the day the world screeches to a halt because of the coronavirus, we speak to Pete by phone. He talks about his childhood, education, parents and the challenge of being a Pride ambassador.
24/7
Pete grows up as the son of Chinese immigrants. After arriving in the Netherlands his parents start a snack bar in the south of the country. As a small boy he can often be found between the frying pans. His parents pay little attention to his brother and sister: their lives revolve around the business 24/7. “But materially I lacked nothing.” He has no ambition to take over his parents’ business later.
Banana
After secondary school Pete isn’t sure what he wants to be. He eventually studies American studies, journalism and philosophy. After graduating he works as a journalist, writer, editor and producer. “I’m currently making an online documentary series for the VPRO. It will be three episodes focused entirely on dating and love as a Chinese Dutch person. It’s a film adaptation and a follow-up to a section of my book called Love.”
His debut book was recently published under the titleThe Banana Generation. In it he weaves his personal story with those of other Chinese Dutch peers. He speaks with “fellow bananas” who, like him, struggle with their Chinese Dutch identity. Topics such as generational clashes, dating, discrimination and loneliness also come up.
Struggle
In retrospect he says he had to fight against the expectations of the outside world — as a Chinese Dutch person and as a gay man. From childhood he struggled with his homosexuality. In his warmly received book he movingly describes his coming out. He was thirty when he came out to his parents — rather late, I note.
At 22 he told close friends about being different but deliberately not his parents. “That was still a step too far.” He explains: “Not only are they from another generation, they also gave up their youthful dreams so their children could have a better future.”
His parents want the best for their children and hope they will be successful and lead a heteronormative life. “I always felt enormous pressure from my parents and my surroundings to fit into that heterosexual mould.”
Tears
He still remembers clearly the moment he told his mother. “I was on holiday in Turkey and sent my mother a message that I didn’t like girls.” His mother had always tried to set him up with girls. Pete had had enough. His mother spent a weekend in tears. His father was silent. “I was just relieved they didn’t immediately say they never wanted to see me again.” His mother tried one last time to match him with a girl — unsuccessfully. His father gave him a year to become straight. Nowadays it’s no longer a topic of conversation; in fact his parents avoid the subject of homosexuality. “My parents don’t even know I’m a Pride ambassador.”
Platform
Pete is driven in everything he does. He still wonders why he, as someone of East Asian background, was asked to be an ambassador. “But now I can do what I’ve always said: show that you exist and that being from a migration background and being gay matters.” He wants to fulfil that role well. “The ambassadorship is a strong public platform. It may sound small, but to me it feels very big. Growing up I never thought an East Asian face would ever be visible during Pride.” How does he remember his first Pride? “That was in 2012. For me it felt like more of a side feeling than a belonging — I hadn’t accepted my own homosexuality yet.” Now he sees it as a big celebration where you can be different.
Inclusivity
Pride week means having the freedom to be yourself and to be visible. “I want to improve inclusivity and better representation of Dutch East Asians of my generation. We are a group born here and literally raised between two worlds. A generation often forgotten in the media, politics, education, major sports and the public sphere. Diversity alone is not enough: we don’t just want to be invited to the party, we want to be allowed to dance at that party and help shape the music.”
Message
How will he carry out the ambassadorship? “I will give talks and address topics from my book such as love, dating, activism, growing up as a Chinese Dutch person and racism within the gay community.” He stresses that the latter definitely exists. He describes its blunt character, for example on gay dating apps where Asian men are often viewed as feminine and placed lower in the community's hierarchy. There you have to be hyper-masculine.
Visibility is, according to Pete, so important. He will use the ambassadorship to change those stereotypes. He will give it more than a hundred percent. “Let the Pride season begin!”
Pride ambassador since 2021
