Interview: Paul Hofman
In addition to being a journalist and writer, Pete Wu (34) is an ambassador for Pride Amsterdam this year. He was surprised to learn he was one of the six chosen. He is looking forward to it. Who is this man who recently wrote an autobiographical book about growing up as a Chinese Dutch gay man between two worlds? His mother calls him a “banana” — yellow on the outside, white on the inside. He doesn’t mind that word; he sees it as a badge of honour. On the day the world screeches to a halt because of the coronavirus, we speak to Pete by phone. He talks about his childhood, education, parents and the challenge of being a Pride ambassador.
24/7
Pete grows up as the son of Chinese immigrants. After arriving in the Netherlands, his parents open a snackbar in the south of the country. As a small boy he can often be found between the frying pans. His parents give little attention to his brother and sister: their lives revolve around the business 24/7. “But materially I lacked nothing.” He does not have the ambition to take over his parents’ business later.
Banana
After secondary school Pete still doesn’t know exactly what he wants to be. He eventually studies American studies, journalism and philosophy. After graduating he works as a journalist, writer, editor and programme maker. “At the moment I’m making an online documentary series for the VPRO. It will be a three-part series entirely about dating and love as a Chinese Dutch person. It’s a screen adaptation and a follow-up to a section of my book called Love.”
His first book was recently published under the titleThe Banana Generation. In it he weaves his own personal story with those of other Chinese Dutch peers. He talks with ‘fellow bananas’ who, like him, struggle with their Chinese Dutch identity. Topics such as generational clashes, dating, discrimination and loneliness are also addressed.
Struggle
Looking back he says he had to fight the norms of the world around him — as a Chinese Dutch person and as a gay man. From childhood he struggled with his sexuality. In his warmly received book he movingly describes his coming out. He was thirty when he came out to his parents. Quite late, I note.
At 22 he had told good friends about his ‘difference’ but, very consciously, not his parents. “That was one step too far.” He explains: “Not only are they from another generation, but more importantly they gave up their youth dreams so their children would have a better future.”
Because his parents want the best for their children and hope they will be successful and lead a heteronormative life. “I always felt enormous pressure from my parents and my environment to fit into that heterosexual mould.”
Tears
The moment he told his mother is still vivid. “I was on holiday in Turkey and sent my mother a message saying I wasn’t attracted to girls.” His mother had always tried to set him up with girls. Pete had had enough. His mother cried for a whole weekend. His father fell silent. “I was relieved they didn’t immediately say they never wanted to see me again.” His mother tried one last time to pair him with a girl. In vain. His father gave him a year to become straight. Today it’s no longer a topic of conversation; in fact, they ignore the subject of homosexuality. “My parents don’t even know I am a Pride ambassador.”
Platform
Pete is driven in everything he does. He still asks himself why, as someone of East Asian background, he was asked to be an ambassador. “But now I can do what I’ve always said: show that you exist and that people with a migration background who are gay matter.” He wants to fulfil that role model function well. “The ambassadorship is a good public platform. It may sound small, but to me it’s huge. When I was growing up I could never have imagined an East Asian face being visible at Pride.” How does he remember his first Pride? “That was in 2012. For me it felt more like something on the sidelines than something I belonged to — I hadn’t accepted my own homosexuality yet.” Now he sees it as a big celebration where you can be different.
Inclusivity
Pride week means, to him, having the freedom to be yourself and to be visible. “I want to improve inclusivity and better representation of Dutch East Asians of my generation. We are a group born here who literally grew up between two worlds. A generation often forgotten in the media, politics, education and major sports as part of the public landscape. Diversity alone is not enough: we don’t just want to be invited to the party, we want to be allowed to dance at that party and help decide the music.”
Message
How will he fulfil the ambassadorship? “I will give talks and address topics from my book such as love, dating, activism, growing up as a Chinese Dutch person and racism within the gay community.” He emphasises that the latter does exist. He talks about its blunt character, for example on gay dating apps where Asian men are seen as feminine and are, for part of the community, at the bottom of the ladder. There you have to appear hyper-masculine.
Visibility is, according to Pete, so important. He will use the ambassadorship to change those stereotypes. He will give it more than one hundred percent. “Let the Pride season begin!”
Pride ambassador since 2021
